t journal
Anonymous asked:
When you coming to London kid? :3

17-19 September   Barcelona

19-2 September/October   Morocco

2-6 October   London

Anonymous asked:
Being trans*, was swimming naked with people a big step for you? I apologize if this question is in any way inappropriate. Just say so or ignore the ask if it is.

it was a positive experience I always wanted to cross off my list, but it didn’t feel like a big deal because I was super comfortable with them. maybe that’s what made it so nice.

travel the hell out of your comfort zone

you know how they always say that meeting new people is the best part of travelling? or how it broadens your mind? everyone has heard it and everyone knows it, but does everyone KNOW it? because I didn’t.

I get on well with people, but since I remember I would always get anxious and uneasy meeting new people to the point I would instinctively avoid situations that would force me to interact with strangers - leaving the room, declining invitations, staying at home. spending more time reading and watching films than talking to actual people was next natural step I took in my teens in order to disconnect myself from the world and unlearn the (already poor) social skills I had. I started to physically and socially transition, both sides of it helped me open up, realise people can be wonderful and selflessly kind. transition also made me want to share myself with other people for the first time, I found myself excited and ready to do things I never thought I would long for. like travelling, hitch-hiking, couchsurfing.

New York city was the first place I visited in a foreign country in years and I couldn’t feel more grateful for that experience. I met an old lady from Peru and her friend who didn’t speak a word in English(nor did I in Spanish) while waiting for our delayed trains in NYC. within a week I not only learned I could feel at home outside of my hometown but, more importantly, that travelling is people. I got back, I felt weird and inadequate- I missed being on the road, discovering places, looking up routes, getting lost, finding my way, having to ask for directions. I was ready for more.

when academic year ended, I had a number of plans for the summer, but within a month it turned out none of them would work out because of indecision and my travelling companions changing their mind or not being involved enough. I felt disappointed and let down, but I figured if I were to wait for the right companion, I could wait forever, so I decided to do it on my own and perhaps the right people would find me somewhere along the way. Noah invited me to his new flat in Leipzig and said we could visit Berlin. it sounded perfect because it was foreign enough to make a first solo travelling challenge, but familiar enough to not experience cultural shock and feel very lost. I bought bus tickets to Berlin and posted a question on my blog asking if someone had a couch I could crush on in the city. I received an anonymous message from Konstantin saying he was a graphic design graduate, lived with two cats and that I was welcome to stay at his place. I instantly said yes and I wasn’t even aware of how much we had in common, I slept on his couch for three nights, we took the worst photo-booth pictures together, he showed me around the city and made sure I felt at home. I met Heng whom I designed a bear tattoo for a couple years ago, we went to a cafe for cats and people with cats, Heng was able to bring me a different perspective of Berlin and Neukölln than anyone else. I met a guy from Palestine who told me he just moved to Berlin to marry a German man, we cycled to Kreuzberg together for half an hour and said goodbye. I met Jonas who is the sweetest guy, we had a falafel and a perfect ratio of silly loud laughter and quality conversations, I stayed at Jonas’ place for a night. I met Noah feeling I’ve known him for years, he shared a burger and his apartment with me, he introduced me to Julia, they cooked for me, they told me everything I needed to know to want to go to India one day, they went naked swimming with me. 


I just booked plane tickets to Morocco through Barcelona and London. over three weeks on tour!

beard, you can’t grow back soon enough for me.

so funny to find a picture of yourself in a random Pinterest board dedicated to menswear and men’s bodies. someone thinks I know How to: man.

who wants to hang out in London in September?

I might be looking for a couch to crush for a few days, if anyone wants to pyjama party with me.


Berlin feat. Noah boy.

packed and ready to go to Germany and make out with Noah.

beardless for the first time in half a year. probably doesn’t look as different to you because you don’t see me every day, but everyone who saw me today didn’t recognise me at first and couldn’t stop laughing for minutes. my own reaction was 

'what?' 'how?' 'what?' 'kurwa' 'was I this ugly the whole time?' 'what?' 'who is this?' 'is this my jaw?' 'where is my chin?' 'what?'

please don’t cry, though, my grandpa face will grow back in no time!

I was planning on buying a 60l backpack for this hitch-hiking/tenting trip, then I found this old-ass beautiful backpack at home. feeling ready to leave right now. that’s right, I’m like a kid that won’t take his new sneakers off for bed.

I’ve been doing pretty good bottom dysphoria-wise lately, starting to think I could just live happily the way I am without it bugging me.

a few days ago I spontaneously accepted an offer of taking a yacht course, feeling awesome about doing something productive for myself and then all the living happily shutters into pieces because me and three strange dudes on a yacht and me being the only one unable to empty my bladder comfortably for three days. now, I’m going to cancel on them because of something this fucking stupid. and lie to my parents by saying I’m too lazy to take the training because I don’t want them to see me weak and still dealing with this shit.

can’t even describe how angry and betrayed by my body I’m feeling right now. I feel like curling up and never leaving my room.

how to beard: grooming

read part 1 on how to even grow that bloody beard *here*, if you haven’t already.

there is a myth going on that says being bearded has to do with laziness, whereas in reality taking care of a beard can take a lot more effort and thought than staying clean-shaven. letting your beard grow is one thing, but keeping it well-groomed is another. I find it quite essential, unless someone has incredible beard genes(awesome density and coverage) or can pull off very wild facial fur. I feel like it looks better each time I grow a beard all over again, not only because my facial hair growth keeps improving a little, but I also learn how to take care of it properly.

grooming your beard usually includes combing, shaving your neck, cheeks and trimming, but can also mean using beard products like oils, beard soap/shampoos, beard balm or moustache wax. I’m not an expert here, but I’ve acquired some knowledge in the field through reading jefffs beard board, gazing shamelessly at other men’s faces on beard blogs(alright, on subway, too), giving a few friends a beard trim and, well, doing my best at growing one of those things myself. here are a few tips.


I don’t think people realise how helpful brushing or combing a beard can be. it doesn’t just make you look better right afterwards, but with enough consistency, it gives you some control over how your beard grows and lays down. before you grab a razor or trimmer to kill a beard because it started to curl in bizarre ways or has developed an odd shape, try combing it in different ways and you might decide that your beard looks fine as it is. boar brushes and brushes with some boar bristle supposedly work best. try not to brush when your hair is wet as it weakens it quite a bit. combing or brushing can be a blessing, if you already have some length, but aren’t quite there and are having a bad beard day.

2.carving a neckline/cheekline.

it’s recommended to let your beard grow a little before you define your neck/cheekline- I personally prefer a natural neckline with short beards, otherwise people tend to look overstyled to me, but that’s my opinion. staying away from the razor for the first few weeks lets slow-growers keep up and gives you a better image of what your face will look like bearded therefore helps you make a better decision. after you passed the scruffy stage and it’s getting fuzzy would be the best moment to carve a neckline. shaving your neck and cheeks can give you a nice fresh feeling, if you’re starting to feel a bit messy and unkempt.

when it comes to neckline, the golden rule says two fingers above your adam’s apple indicate where to shave your neck, but go little by little and frequently check in the mirror from a distance. how high and what shape will depend on your preference, beard length and pattern- if you have bald spots on your neck you might feel the urge to carve a higher neckline, but remember that those spots might fill in or cover up with added length. consider trimming your neck, instead of shaving it completely, if you like more of a natural look and would like to avoid sharp lines. big beards often don’t require any neck shaving or very little. most experienced growers will tell you it’s better to shave it lower than higher, you can see so many guys will high-ass necklines it hurts my bearded soul… keep in mind barbers tend to shave necks very high(which beard growers tend to hate), feel more than free to tell your barber not to shave it right below your jaw! the way cheeks work is pretty similar- try not to shave too much at first. a cheekline can compliment your facial features or mess up the proportions, experiment and try to choose a style that fits both your facial structure and facial hair growth pattern. you may decide to clean up the upper cheeks or you might find your natural cheekline your best fit.


just like the hair on you head, long untrimmed facial hair becomes weaker and gets split ends. a beard trim is done using a clipper type beard trimmer or scissors. you don’t have to necessarily take length when your beard looks messy(and combing doesn’t do the job) - another reason why the growing out stage doesn’t tend to look too flattering is people don’t do surface trimming. again, our facial hair doesn’t grow at a perfectly even pace, sometimes all we need is to trim some stubborn longer hairs growing in odd directions. try using clipper/scissor over comb technique for surface trimming and for blending(f.e. sideburns into your head hair/beard).

once your moustache starts getting in your mouth you have to decide whether to trim it or start so-called training it to the sides(combing it to the sides + pushing it to the sides with your fingers frequently so that it starts to lay this way naturally), otherwise eating and drinking will get super messy. if you’re growing a handle-bar moustache or a similar style, you have to wait for it to get long enough to curl the ends while training it to the sides. the longer, the easier it should be to persuade your moustache to lay to the sides.

holy crap, that’s a long post. I guess I’ll touch on beard products some other time.

Anonymous asked:
Hi! Idk how it works in Poland, but here in my country, if you want to change your name and do the surgery, you have to go to the psychologist for 2 years, sometimes more, so people are certain you won't 'change your mind', or that this is not 'just a phase'. What are you thoughts on this? Although i think people should be aware and prepared for the risks of the surgery, are psychologists really prepared to attend trans* people? Is this the correct way of doing it? It seems so violent and wrong.

fortunately, the two years rule doesn’t exist in my country any more.

I think an adult should be able to change their name whenever to whatever they want as long as it doesn’t do any harm to anyone. surgeries are a separate subject- in Poland you have to get diagnosed with GID by a specialist who checks your kariotype, hormone levels and some other stuff along with performing basic psychological tests to indicate you’re not suffering from a disorder that could be causing GID ‘symptoms’(f.e. schizophrenia). I definitely think people should check their mental and overall health before receiving a green light to HRT and/or surgeries, it should be a minimum standard procedure and it’s for our own good. how much one has to wait for the treatment and how well-educated the doctors are in the subject is another problem that has to do with how health system works in one’s country.

as far as I know, waiting time is the longest in places where trans-related healthcare is refundable(like Germany, Switzerland, the UK, Scandinavia?) which makes sense because 1.money and 2.money.


my sister took some shots of me the other day. wow, that beard was begging for a moustache trim!

give her thumbs up on Facebook.